I’m not the only one. But I’m certainly one of a very few, judging by what Google returns when you Google the phrase. The #1 link? It seems to be an ad for a series of books on “how to be an alpha male.” The entire first page doesn’t link to a single actual blog by a dominant male blogger. (For years, I worked hard to be listed in the top ten sex blogs every year, and I was; I often was the only man. Nowadays, I don’t even follow the rankings, but I have the sense I’ve probably fallen a bit).
Anyway. It seems to me, if you google “Dominant male blogger,” you should find me. And you don’t. So. I’m out to change that.
(Incidentally, I do come up first if you Google “dominant male sex blogger.” That’s good.)
If you read this blog already, you know about me. You know my story. You know that I tend to think a lot, and that I tend to write about my exploits, as well. And, if you’re paying close attention, you know that I have (or at least write about) fewer exploits recently than I did early in the years of this blog.
If you’re new to the blog, though, you know nothing.
I’ve struggled over the years to make this blog a welcoming place for a newcomer, a place that’s easy to navigate, to follow your interests. I don’t feel particularly satisfied with how things are, but they are – alas – as good as I seem able to make them.
But here are a few tidbits, just to get you going:
- I am, as my tag line says, a husband, a father, a slut, and a blogger.
- I am dominant. I rarely think of myself as a “dom,” though, which feels to me a lot like a reification for purposes other than description. Whenever someone approaches me hoping I can be their next dom, they, invariably, are disappointed. I’m just not whatever it is they have in mind. I’m too polite, too respectful, not sadistic or brutal or rough enough. This never has particularly bothered me. I’m not purveying a pre-packaged dominance, a McDonald’s cheeseburger of kink, the same everywhere. What I offer is my brand of dominance. It may or may not have things in common with others’ brands of dominance. I don’t much care. What’s here is me, and if you like me, well, then, I imagine we might have a bright future together. But if you’re casting for a role? I’m probably not right for it.
- I am polite. I always say please – even when what I mean is “suck my cock, now!” Make no mistake, though: my politeness isn’t weakness, either of desire or of forcefulness. But I want you to give me your compliance. I don’t want to have to take it.
- I am respectful. I have a code of conduct. I wrote it. I solicited input. I revised it. And I adhere to it.
- I am vulnerable. I write about my vulnerability here. Ad nauseam. My vulnerability stems mostly from fear – fear of being alone, of being abandoned, of feeling dead, of dying. I often use extra-marital relationships as a way of exploring this vulnerability, and, more often than not, I end up writing about it here. (Read about Marina for one recent example of how vulnerable I can be.)
- I am needy. I am hungry. I like a lot, and I want even more. Always.
- I prefer oral sex to fucking. Almost always.
- I am demanding. Seriously. Fucking. Demanding. If you suck my cock, you should be prepared to do so for hours.
- I am generous. Seriously. Fucking. Generous. If I lick your clit, you should be prepared for me to do so for hours.
- I’ve been accused of arrogance. Of being cocky. I’m always baffled by these accusations, and I (arrogantly) believe they’re incorrect.
- I’m often described as confident. This seems right to me. Except, you know, when I’m not. Which is often. Particularly when it relates to fear of loss.
I write a lot. I have written a lot. There’s several entire books here, if anyone ever sat down to try to compile and edit it thematically. There’s a book on sex addiction. A book on the sex I’ve had. A book on relationships with women far away (to whom I sometimes refer as “distant buddies“). There’s a book on sex, and another, on emotions. There’s a somewhat dated book on sex clubs in New York. And I’m sure there are other books to be found.
You can find my musings on politics within (hint: I’m very progressive).
In short, this is a big space, a space with a lot of words. As I once wrote, “words are my currency.” And they are.
If you’re new, welcome.
And if you’re a returning visitor – you know I’m glad to have you back.
One final thing: I really fucking love engaging with my readers. If something I say makes you think, tell me – in the comments to a post, or directly, using my “contact me” page. If what I say makes you wet? Keep reading.
And if what I say gets you off?
Please, please, thank me.