Edges are where the action happens. It’s why lingerie is sexier than nudity; why many consider fishnets the sexiest stockings; why lace is sexier than opaque cotton.
Submission takes a wide variety of forms, as does dominance. I’ve written before about “bratty subs,” those whose “submission” requires constant punishment and reinforcement. Their submission, in other words, must be taken, compelled, maybe even beaten out of them. I have zero interest in this kind of submission.
I prefer something like the opposite of this: I want you simply to submit to me, to give me what I want, to internalize my desires. Never to strain against the restraints I might tie for you. In fact? What’s hottest for me? The restraints in your mind. I’ll happily tie you up on a bed and ravish you. That’s hot. But hotter? For me to tell you not to fucking move your hands or feet or arms or legs, without a single piece of fabric restraining you, and for you not to move one inch, while I ravish you. For you to devote all your energy to living within the edges I’ve established, to avoid them studiously – not with fear, ideally, but with longing and affection.
My cock gets harder, in other words, if you hold yourself back for me than if I hold you back.
These two poles are just that – poles, on a spectrum. In between there’s lots of space to play. I only enjoy playing, though, in the space in which the restraints, ultimately, are voluntary, and your compliance, therefore, is voluntary.
I want to win your compliance, not to take it. And once I have it? I want to keep it.
Some want to keep a safe distance from the edges; some want to strain against them and be held back by them; some want to transgress repeatedly and be slapped back. The first? I fucking love. The second? We can make it work. The third? Not so much for me, thanks.