Some months ago, Liza and I were chatting about writing ideas, and I suggested she write about something that turns most people on, but that doesn’t work for her. I think that the post that followed was this one, but I’m not certain – she may not have taken the assignment. We often trade ideas, and we often let some of them languish. (Right now, for instance, I’m sitting on a post I’ve started, but not completed, on the process by which “trust” is established between me and women with whom I connect virtually – a.k.a. “tweeties.”)
Yesterday, a “distant buddy” of mine wrote, “Record something for me. Please? Talk dirty.” I read her request, and gulped.Source: Heeb
I don’t really like talking dirty. I don’t really like being talked dirty to. This is ironic, of course, because I fucking love writing dirty, and being written dirty to. I even occasionally write about talking dirty. But in the moment? If you start talking to me about your pussy? About my cock? It’s a struggle for me to take you seriously, to stay in the moment. Ditto with my speech. You want me to tell you what I’m going to do to you? That I’m going to pound you so hard with my cock that you’ll be sore? That I love it when you suck my cock? To call you “bitch,” or “slut” or “whore”? All that is really hard for me.
Again – this is in the category of stuff that I want to be better at, so I try. And the truth is, I think I’m not bad at it – it’s just that not only does it not come naturally to me, but it’s not that fun for me. I know that I’m missing out, and I suspect that at least one of the causes for my struggling with it is connected to the issues I discussed in this post – I think articulating words that have hostility or violence (“bitch,” “slut,” “whore”) embedded in them is just a little bit close to areas that scare me. The truth is, I don’t want to call you names when I’m fucking you.
But she asked, and so I tried.
So I keep trying, and I will keep trying. If you have suggestions, I’m all ears.