Shame

Remembering my suffering.

Just what is it I’m scared of? Same old same old…. Shame. Abandonment. Loss.

Why is it so shameful to be caught masturbating?

More than anything, sex parties make me THINK. The day after a sex party, I’m filled with thoughts, imaginings, and reflections.

I’m just always happier when I’m myself.

A fragment on secrecy and shame.

The beginning of a trip to Checkmate – a New York sex club – with Charlotte and Milica.

In which I, maybe?, get caught stealing an unwelcome glance.

Sometimes, I imagine I’m invisible, silent, unnoticed. Sometimes, I’m wrong.

What shame is to me.