Advice: sex toys

It’s nice to hear from you. It’s been a while. We definitely should resume our encounters. I’m in a place with limited privacy at the moment, and am not certain about my ability to actually do so, in the next two weeks or so, but I miss your pretty body.

As for your question: I’m certainly comfortable discussing the question with you, but only with a couple of caveats: first, I’m a boy, not a girl. Girls (or more specifically, people with vaginas – though no more than one a piece) definitely would be better people to ask this question. Second, I think the best thing you could do would be to go to the nearest Babeland, or any other female-friendly sex toy shop, and talk with the salespeople. They’re really good at not being intimidating or embarrassing or shaming, and simply helping you figure out what might be best for you.

All that said… I would say, before I could begin to imagine that I have a clue what might be best for you, I would need to know (anything) about how you come, about what feels good for you. What follows is an overwhelming list of questions – and it’s just a start. If you were to tell me the answers to all of these, I would suspect I could help you find a great toy for you.

At the same time, you don’t need to do all that. There are shortcuts. A little “bullet” vibrator is often a great starter toy, particularly for women for whom vibration is really key. Lelo makes a couple of great ones, like the Mia 2. So does Jimmy Jane. And Babeland has a great “beginners vibrators” page. You might start there.

But you asked me. And since you did, here’s how I would approach the task:

How do you masturbate? Are you a penetration girl? A vibration girl? Do you like both at the same time? (Related: do you prefer to come from stimulation you get or give yourself while fucking? Or do you prefer to come from stimulation you get while receiving oral?) Is your ass a locus of pleasure for you? Do you crave the feeling of being double-penetrated? Is your g-spot central to your pleasure? Do you crave a feeling of “full-ness”? Or do you crave the simple in-and-out? Are you very sensitive? Are your orgasms centered at your clit? Or are they centered deeper in your cunt? Are you one-and-done? Or do you come over and over? Do you squirt? (Do you want to squirt?) Do you prefer larger cocks or smaller ones? (Dildo vibrators come in various sizes, from about three inches all the way up to foot-longs.) Do you like girth? Length? Curves? Are you interested in the aesthetics of the device getting you off? Or are you immune to visual charms, and just looking for functionality? Do you want power? Rhythm? Where do you hope to use your toy – in your bed? In the bathroom? (Do you need it to be waterproof?) Do you want to get off in public? Do you want constant, low-grade stimulation in your cunt and/or your ass throughout the day (ben wa balls, or a butt plug)? Or do you just want something to get off with? Do you have ready access to an outlet? Or would you prefer something either battery powered or wireless? Do you want a toy that someone (I?) control/s remotely? Or do you want to do it yourself?

And… what material most appeals? Glass? Metal? Silicone? Plastic? Most people prefer silicone – it combines good feeling with easy cleaning, and it’s what I would suggest starting with.

The answers to all of these questions should drive your selection. Maybe you need a rabbit – a vibrator that gives you penetration/g-spot and clitoral stimulation at the same time. Or maybe you need a simple vibrating dildo, or something that gives a sense of undulation and movement in your pussy. Or maybe something that simulates the stimulation of oral sex.

If I had my druthers, I would have you send me, in reply, answers to every question I’ve asked – preferably in your voice, preferably while you’re touching yourself. And then, I would make recommendations to you, and you would record yourself coming for me with recommendation #1.

But I know your boundaries, and I doubt that would appeal to you.

So my second choice would be that you simply tell me your answers, and that, together, we embark on a little journey of discovery here – I would make a suggestion, you would tell me about your experience, and maybe we would rinse and repeat, until you had three or five toys that delivered a variety of sensations to you.

I suspect that doesn’t appeal so much either. My sense is, you don’t really want me getting too involved with the stimulation of your pussy.

My third choice – and the one I think you might prefer best, boils down, simply, to a couple of recommendations.

Bullet: the Mia 2 by Lelo to which I linked above.

The Mia 2

Rabbit: the Soraya 2, also by Lelo.

The Soraya 2

POWERFUL vibrator: the Hitachi Magic Wand. (Caution: many women claim that, once they become accustomed to this, they simply can’t come any other way. One of my favorite things to do is to deploy a wand on a willing partner. They simply deliver a symphony of overwhelming sensations, with a very simple delivery mechanism. The Wand has multiple attachments, but honestly, the vast majority of women I’ve known who love their wands stick with the simple, basic, round attachment you see on the page to which I linked.)

Magic Wand

Dildo vibrator: I don’t have a specific recommendation on this one.

G-spot vibrator: The Lelo Mona Wave is pretty fucking awesome. (And bonus: it’s a lot like my cock, not so big, but with a perfect curve.) But here’s a review that calls out some of its limitations.

Mona Wave

My main tip: if you don’t have a friendly sex shop near you that you can go to, and speak frankly with a saleswoman, or if that’s just not your speed, then you should look at the web pages of Babeland and Lelo and GoodVibes, and in particular, their “beginners” pages. (Babeland, Lelo, and GoodVibes beginners’ pages are linked in these parentheses.)

Each of them is infinitely better than anything I’ve written here, and a few minutes on their pages and you’ll surely have a sense of what might work best for you.

Whatever you decide…. I look forward to whatever you decide to share with me, and hope you won’t hesitate to ask any follow-up questions. And, would love it if you decided to use this as an opportunity to play with me.

Thanks for asking. And keep me posted!

One comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.