Each month, Hyacinth and I highlight two blogs we find interesting, compelling, funny, hot, whatever. We tell you our reactions – what we like, what we don’t like. We hope you enjoy.
N’s pick:
The Amsterdam Diaries
N’s thoughts:
I’m interested in reading men write about sex. Oddly, I’ve found precious little of it on the internet, and most of what I’ve found that’s been interesting to me has been by men who have sex with men (for example, I’m a big fan of this blog). Thanks to L, I recently discovered this series of accounts by a British man of his adventures with the women who work in Amsterdam’s Red Light District. I’m not linking to a specific post, but rather, to the whole blog. It’s fascinating to me.
Mostly, I have to say, because it is so unappealing to me. The model of prostitution – and of sex with prostitutes – documented by this man seems holds no appeal for me. He comes acruss as unsentimental, something of a tender sociopath. He’s not a sadist, he’s not cruel, but the women he describes hardly come across as anything other than the possessors of holes – holes which, for fifty euros he can do various things with/to. I’m not really sure what to do with his writing. He writes well, he recounts his sexual encounters, but the unapologetically transactional nature of everything about which he writes is singularly off-putting to me. The blog ends up being compelling at the same time that it’s neither hot nor particularly thoughtful or thought-provoking.
I found myself wondering (in a bit of terror) as I read, “Is this how I sound? Am I this oblivious, indifferent, to the women I have sex with?” I sure hope not. I like women. I really like the women I have sex with. Not just because they have sex with me, because they “let” me finger them, or fuck them. But because they conspire with me to invent a super-hot reality that gets us both off.
But if you want to get a comprehensive, if highly specific, take on the Amsterdam red light district, this is a great place to do it.
Hy’s thoughts:
Man… I don’t even know what to say. I am totally turned off by this writing and only mildly interested from a psychological stand point, like, what the fuck? His writing is unapologetic, not at all introspective, and his callousness towards the act of sex is basically uninteresting to me. But, apparently he has an audience.
My feelings about the blog are also unrelated to prostitution. I’m generally ambivalent about the whole thing (prostitution, I mean) and so long as everyone consents, I really don’t give a fuck. My hopes for it are for the sex workers’ safety, satisfaction (work-wise, not necessarily sexually, though that’d be awesome, too), and autonomy (whatever that means or looks like to her).
Obviously, I haven’t read the entire blog, but I think it was him writing “Whatever, in the interests of research she will do,” in regards to having sex with a “plump girl” (who also might as well be fat because his preference is strictly for toned women), that made me feel like I was done. It’s all too manual-like for me. I prefer to know and feel the human interest in someone’s writing, not just learn about a human’s interest.
If I ever decide to fuck a Dutch prostitute I know whose blog I’ll read, but until then…
N’s postscript:
I don’t disagree with anything Hy says. Except. I think glimpses of unfamiliar worlds, particular those having to do with sex, generally are interesting to me, especially to the extent that they portray those worlds not so much naturalistically as through the eyes and mind of the viewer. This is what I like, what I find compelling about this blog. It exposes me to a world, a way of thinking, I’d otherwise never know.
Hy’s pick:
Girl on the Net’s On Extreme Porn Close-ups.
Hy’s thoughts:
I couldn’t have said it better than Carina did herself: it becomes gynecological. I’ve always figured that I like to see what I might normally see during an encounter, and even though I occasionally fuck chicks, I have never spent much time looking directly up into her vagina. It’s more of a glance to see the lay of the land and then I get down to business. Those close up shots in porn make me distinctly uneasy and ruin any kind of “moment” for me.
So there’s that.
But then the comments of this particular post take the whole conversation of porn somewhere entirely else. Some reader decides to say that all porn is anti-feminist and openly misogynistic. Girl on the Net responds succinctly and directly, politely.
It’s exactly this about her, her openness and clarity — which allows her to claim disagreement in an intelligent, thoughtful way — that brings me back around again and again.
In general, she also writes about sexy, real, provoking themes and experiences and her honesty is unmistakeable. She doesn’t write erotica, per se, she writes about sex, sexuality, and herself from a self-deprecating feminist voice that I thoroughly delight in.
I feel smarter after I’ve read her. Plus, she and I feel similarly about lots of other things, too.
N’s thoughts:
Yup. I agree totally. I love GOtN. She’s in my sidebar, and I read her every post. I remember when she wrote this, and I agreed then. I just re-read the comments and was struck by some of the claptrap that’s been written there.
She is a truly great writer. Unapologetic, smart, funny, iconoclastic. Read her.
Your comment about how theamsterdamdiaries objectifies his partners being a turn off is interesting. As an erotic device, objectification can be sexy. The other male blogger you link to, A Breeder, relies on it heavily, going so far as to *literally* describe his partners as holes. I find his writing much less sentimental than theamsterdamdiaries, and yet, also, infinitely hotter. The difference, for me, is that A Breeder uses objectification as an integral part of the scene — having a body available for his use seems to directly feed his arousal and drives the encounter. Theamsterdamdiaries, OTOH, seems to use objectification to maintain emotional distance. I thought he came across as painfully insecure, never forgetting that none of these women would have sex with him if he weren’t paying them. But since that doesn’t seem to play into his arousal, it gives the narrative an awkward and slightly sad framework.