Cultural sexual hegemony and me, #4 – Blowjobs

I googled “Best oral sex video ever,” and this is what I found.

This is not how I like my cock sucked.

I’ve written lots about how I like it sucked, about how I like to be teased, licked, kissed, stroked, pressed, and yes, sucked. But I don’t particularly crave the up-and-down jackhammer sucking that somehow has become the hegemonic way of giving head, at least in porn. I don’t doubt that some men prefer it that way, that some men and women prefer to give head that way. But not I.

It’s one of the things I like about the videos shown on Amateur Allure. Generally, the formula there is a little more deliberate, and varied, in the head Thomas or his friends receive. (It also helps for me that the women generally are dressed, and generally seem, whether they’re acting or not, truly to be enjoying themselves.) The women on Amateur Allure swirl their tongues around the head, the shaft, they use not just their jaws, but their tongues, their whole heads, not to mention necks and hands, to give him pleasure. And more than anything, the women there seem both to be enjoying themselves and not to be trying to get him off so much as to make him feel good.

I love porn.

But this is yet another way in which porn often gets it wrong.

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