There’s a web site called “Seeking Arrangement.” I mentioned it in passing in this previous post.
On the front page of the web site, it defines “the Modern Sugar Daddy”:
You are always respectful and generous. You only live once, and you want to date the best. Some call you a mentor, sponsor or benefactor. But no matter what your desires may be, you are brutally honest about who you are, what you expect and what you offer.
And the “Goal Seeking Sugar Baby”:
Attractive, intelligent, ambitious and goal oriented. Sugar Babies are students, actresses, models or girls & guys next door. You know you deserve to date someone who will pamper you, empower you, and help you mentally, emotionally and financially.
During my CPOS/sex-addicted stage, I had a profile up there. In some ways, it’s a guy’s dream come true: it’s the one venue online where women seek men, where they respond to inquiries, expressions of interest, with anything other than nominal frequency. And there’s more: it even results in “dates” fairly often.
I started to write a whole history of my interactions with women I met from that site, but I realized, that’s not particularly interesting (except in the most basic, prurient way). What’s interesting, at least to me, is my relationship to the site, to what I got from it: More than anything, what the site did for me was provide a steady stream of encounters in which seduction was a possibility, an appropriate course of action. As a married guy, respectful of women, not the kind of guy who generally (tries to) pick/s up women, opportunities to seduce are few and far between.
And I fucking love seduction.
So this site gave me that: the opportunity to go on dates with women where sex (albeit paid sex) was explicitly on the table from the outset.
I often have joked that the thing I miss most as a result of being married is dating, is seduction. One of the great gifts of “polyamory,” or swinging, or whatever it is that T and I do is that we get to meet new people, to talk about sex with them, to explore whether we want to fuck them, whether they want to fuck us. This is great sport.
And Seeking Arrangement gave me that, albeit in a solitary, desperate, lonely and sad way.
But dating is fun.