I’ve never thought of myself as an exhibitionist. I’m kinda shy, and have never consciously craved being seen in any way. But this blog feeds an exhibitionistic urge I’m only just beginning to understand. Somehow, it’s incredibly life-affirming to me simply to have my desires, my fantasies, my exploits, seen – seen and not (for the most part) judged harshly.
This is most evident to me in the way I relate to my readership (such as it is). Google Analytics has a page which is like crack to me – it’s a live, real-time feed of my viewership. And it’s shockingly detailed. Like, right now, I can see that there are two people on my site – one in Scott Depot, WV, and one in San Francisco. And I can see that they read the “Funny Sign” post and the entry I just posted on NY sex clubs, as well as my home page. And I can see the links they clicked to get to me. (Hi guys!)
My exhibitionism and my obsessionality totally collide here, though – just yesterday, I had to take a widget that showed me how many visitors I’ve had today off my phone because I was looking constantly.
Which is all to say: keep coming back – I love having you.