A question, and some answers

I’m moving to NYC, and when I arrive, I am looking forward to engaging in as much casual sex as humanly possible. I’m a single white female, and have spent too much energy on my career in recent years.What is your advice for remaining disease-free as I look for fucks around town?  And, what has been your experience with AFF as a place to find FWB or 3-somes?

P.S.  If you’re available, then I am game…Have been a good girl WAY too long!

Now this is my kind of e-mail.

I’ll tackle the questions in turn. First. Remaining disease-free. Well. My experience is that I’ve remained disease-free through a lifetime of unprotected oral sex with a substantial number of women. I’ve had unprotected vaginal sex with precisely three women in my life, and only one this century. That’s my trick for remaining disease-free. My most recent “clean” test was two weeks ago.

You can read more of my thoughts on this subject here. But, in general, my sense is that people think irrationally about sexually transmitted infections. Not that they’re not a danger, but that our assessment of the danger they represent tends to correlate strongly with the shame we feel about our sexual desires.

Second. AFF as a place to find FWB or 3-somes…. I’ve been meaning to write a piece about some combination of dating sites/apps and messaging services/apps. Maybe I will. The last time I think I did something like that was two years ago, when I wrote this, about the dating services. And I left out the “swinger” services like AFF, FetLife, CollarMe, and so on. My experience of AFF (I was on it for a minute) was that it was for people different than me. Some years ago, I wrote about self-identified “swingers,” and how I distinguish myself from them. Or at least, I think I did. A perusal of posts tagged “swinging” doesn’t turn up the post I remember, though, so here’s the executive summary of my thoughts: swingers are interested in cocks and holes. Me, I’m interested in people. So I’m not a swinger. I like swingers’ parties, but, by and large, I enjoy attending them with people I know, and sticking with them. Which isn’t to say I haven’t enjoyed the occasional adventure in a swingers’ party or club. It’s just that… the intensity is so much less when all that’s happening is friction.

So. In answer to your question? A woman seeking FWB or 3-somes will find her search exactly as difficult as her standards are particular. If what you’re looking for is a cock, or a man and a woman looking for a threesome, AFF will do just fine, and be highly efficient, I expect. If you want a little more connection, I’d suggest OKC and/or Tinder.

And… if I’m available? I’m always available! Apply within! (Seriously – applications always accepted. And I’ll accept this e-mail as your preliminary application. For your more comprehensive application, watch your e-mail….)

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