Her Tinder profile says, “I like to read, play golf and travel. And I also match my red lipstick with my soles. You will be a great husband if you know why.”
I am a great husband, and I won’t be a great one for her. But here are just three reasons why she might match her red lipstick with her soles – reasons I wouldn’t presume to foist upon her without an explicit green light. Which she kindly gave me.
1. So that, when your face is framed by your ankles, as I look up from between your thighs, there is no fashion distraction.
2. So that, as I grip your ankles, as my cock slides deep into you, and I stare into your eyes, my peripheral vision is nicely color coordinated, east, west, and south.
3. So that you don’t mistakenly leave embarrassing lip prints on the soles of your shoes.