I resolve, in 2015:
To be more present for every aspect of my life. My family, my friends, my work, my writing, my studies, my leisure, my sexual partners. You name it. If it’s a part of my life, I resolve to pay more attention, to turn away less, to experience more of what comes my way without seeking distraction or escape elsewhere.
To redouble my efforts to put generosity and compassion at the forefront of everything I do, to continue to engage with the challenge of making right the wrongs I did to my family, my friends, my colleagues, and myself in my years as a CPOS. It’s a freakish irony that in my most selfish years, when I was single-mindedly pursuing what I thought was joy (but which was, in fact, sensual pleasure) I was completely oblivious to the fact that no greater joy is available than that which comes from doing for others, from turning away from my own prodigious hungers and thirsts, and toward those of others.
To read more – and especially, to read more fiction. I’m too easily seduced by non-fiction, books that feed my mind far more than my soul. But my soul needs literary nourishment, too.
To write more. Not so much here as in the other corners of my life. Here, I write plenty.
To bring my mind and body into greater integration. My body is the repository for much of the emotional detritus of my mind, but I’m often estranged from my body, lost in my mind.
And then, I have some sexual resolutions. Some may be repeats, others are new. I resolve:
To be a better fucker. This isn’t so much a behavioral resolution as an intellectual and emotional one. I don’t know why I find fucking so much less compelling than I do oral, but I owe it to my partners to (continue to) step up my fucking game.
To implement my greatest fantasy. At least once. Maybe more.
To try some new things. (I no longer can even imagine quite what that would mean, but hey, I resolve to try.)
I hope you had a great evening, and that your New Year is filled with sweetness, love, compassion, sex, and fun.