On another day, I’ll write more about why, but….
Never say “no” to me.
I’m neither a tyrant nor unreasonable. I may ask you to do things you wish not to do. Or are unwilling to do. Or that squick you out.
I don’t expect you to do any of those things. (Well, not unless you want to give me what I want more than you want not to do as I’ve asked. Which is hot, to be sure.)
But I expect you never to say “no” to me.
I expect you to find other ways to communicate your feelings, your desires, your willingness, your unwillingness. As I’ve written, as you know, I’m deeply, deeply respectful of your preferences and desires and hopes and limits.
Let me believe you would do anything for me, but help me understand why I should, that I should, retract, or modify, my request in this specific instance.
Hearing you say “no” makes me not want you, and not just in the moment.
Hearing you say “no” makes my desire disappear, my dick shrivel. If we are lucky, it’s not irreversible, but it is damaging.
But, hearing you say “yes,” on the other hand….